MY TROUBLED MIND

confessions are self-serving

Tag: philosophy

Control

I like to imagine
it as an idea rumbled in, wrapped around the rungs
of a thundering chariot’s wheel,
smuggled under the heavy cloth of a toga,
or inhaled in the steam of a communal bath.

An idea as invasive and gripping and seductive
as happiness
working its way into heads at adolescence
like rotten teeth into gum,
often bringing similar rates of agony.

The reason why some men feel
the leather straps of the electric chair
as a mother’s hand, brimming with reassurance,
and the squeak of the guard’s boot on the linoleum
as the crescendo to a wondrous symphony

And why some men burn out of existence
quietly
in the arms of fine lounge chairs
in mansions
or in the bathrooms of five star hotels.

What a dance it is for us common folk;
the clenching of the jaw
the tightening of the bowels
the familiar sting of bile,
the Sisyphean toil
as we
unashamedly
ad nauseam
endeavour to control
that which we cannot –
which, as it happens,
is just about

everything.

A Walk

With my

left foot

forwards

I staggered

my shadow hung heavy,

black and still like printed rhymes

I gasped rasping

“How do they do it?

How do they live?”

I called to the night

the cold moon snorted at us,

old fools using old tools

to know old truths;****

lavender blotches on our old noses

twitching perpetually

testing questions

proved deathless by greater minds;

we were two pained people

spots in the stains of time